I was sitting on the plane returning from Los Angeles with Rachel after her mother passed away. We had been assigned seats in different parts of the plane. I tried to see if there was a way to switch us around and was told the plane was full. But it was bashert.
I spoke with the other passengers in our row for five hours about their life challenges. It became my spiritual counseling office, the row at the front of the economy class. The seat that I shouldn’t have been in at all.
But you know it all happens for a reason. G0d orchestrates all these things.
A couple had been trying to have a baby for years. They’re was worry about age. Could it happen? There were tears in their eyes. They had spent so much time doing other things. They were trying in all kinds of ways to deal with it and trying to foster a child, but in her heart, there was so much pain. But there was also so much gratitude and acceptance of her plight. They love their partners family and their warm embrace.
And they will find ways to raise children even if they are not their own - nieces, stepchildren, foster - they will not let this be an open wound.
One has dying grandparents. They hadn’t seen their grandparents in two years while waiting for a Green Card. They were on their way back to surprise them with a visit. I then learned that when they were twelve, they were hospitalized for a year. Then again in their later teens. They couldn’t do school — this was pre-zoom. They had lived in New York as children and always wanted to move back, but everyone said, “You don't have the grades to get into a US school, and who is going to pay for it?”
She persevered and persevered. The strength that she gained during those years in the hospital, I see, is still pushing her forward against all the medical odds.
So often, we don’t want to speak with people near us on the plane. There are so many awkward encounters and so many stories.
Did you ever think you were doing a mitzvah by hearing their life story?
Did you ever consider that you can share your problems with this stranger too?
If we look at this week’s Torah portion, we see how important it is to hear another’s problems and to be attentive and caring to those we don’t know. Even if there is no chance we can help them with the problem, we can help them by listening to them.
Also, I have heard the outcry of the children of Israel. (Shmos 6:5)
Why does the Torah add the extra "also"? It doesn't go with the previous sentence at all. The Chasam Sofer, Rabbi Moshe Sofer (1762–1839), explained that "also" means that not only G0d heard the cries of the enslaved Jewish nation, but the people also heard one another's sorrow and cries.(1)
The Jewish people were all enslaved, and they were all suffering. But they did not forget their neighbor, who was also suffering.
We all have our problems. We may think, I have so many problems. I don't have time for your problems. I don't even want to hear about them.
That would be a mistake. We must take an interest in each other's problems.
Our ancestors were rescued from slavery in part because they were compassionate to others even though they were suffering.
Is this what is missing today?
The happenstance of sitting on a cross-country plane with two people who felt like talking and sharing will always stay with me. Thanks to that flight, I will reevaluate my in-flight conduct.
But it’s more than just on planes - friends, we can be receptive to opportunities to hear other’s problems any given day.
May the merit of our compassion, caring, and helping one another tilt the world towards goodness. May G0d redeem the captives, unite us, and redeem the world with the ultimate Shabbos and Redemption.
(1) With thanks to Rabbi Zelig Pliskin.