Can We Avert Impending Disasters?
Why humans, gifted with intelligence, ingenuity, and skills, often work against their best interests and how to change.
Part One
The events which led to the implosion of the submersible going to visit the Titanic were eerily similar, said director James Cameron to the original disaster.
I'm struck by the similarity of the Titanic disaster itself, where the captain was repeatedly warned about ice ahead of his ship, and yet, he steamed up full speed into an ice field on a moonless night, and many people died as a result....And for a very similar tragedy, where warnings went unheeded, to take place at the same exact site, with all the diving that's going on all around the world, I think it's just astonishing, it's really quite surreal.
There were ample warnings that the submersible wasn’t safe. But that didn’t prevent people from going on it. Scientific groups committed to deep sea exploration pronounced that the submersible wasn’t safe for that deep exploration. They said it needed rigorous third-party testing.
Throughout history, we see many instances of people making decisions against their better interests resulting in tragedy. Not just ship captains but entire societies who fail to heed warnings and suffer the consequences.
Jews have three weeks, starting with the 17th of Tammuz and ending on the 9 of Av, July 6-27, 2023, devoted to mourning and remembering the circumstances that led to the fall of the Ancient Israelite Kingdoms, the widespread bloodshed, and resulting expulsions.
In theory, this period of time is set aside for reflecting on the tragic circumstances of that time and other tragic periods in Jewish history and endeavoring to make changes. Great sages have taught that our spiritual exile and antisemitism will continue until we repair the societal flaw of Jew-against-Jew hatefulness, which led to the second temple's destruction.
However, the Three Weeks come, and the three weeks go, and nothing really changes.
Generations come, and generations go, and the Three Weeks remain a monument to our inability to work towards our better interests.
Is there a way out of this cycle? Can we begin to make the changes needed to stop the Sisyphean wheel that brings us back to these three weeks each year, refraining from joyfulness, fasting, praying, and hoping for change?
Yes, ultimately, there is. And it begins with looking at our prophets, understanding what doomed the Titanic and the Submersible, and changing our thinking.
Part Two
No one should have been surprised when Jerusalem was besieged, the city toppled, the Temple destroyed, and our people exiled. The Kings of Israel knew what was coming. The prophets knew. And while the prophets could not post on Social Media, it didn’t diminish their ability to broadcast their message. Their prophesy was told loudly and clearly for all to hear.
As Yeshayahu (Isaiah) told the people before the destruction of Jerusalem and the first Temple:
Wash yourselves clean;
Put your evil doings,
Away from My sight.
Cease to do evil;
Learn to do good.
Devote yourselves to justice;
Aid the wronged.
Uphold the rights of the orphan;
Defend the cause of the widow.
Come, let us reach an understanding, —says GOD.
Be your sins like crimson,
They can turn snow-white;
Be they red as dyed wool,
They can become like fleece.”
If, then, you agree and give heed,
You will eat the good things of the earth;
But if you refuse and disobey,
You will be devoured [by] the sword
(Yeshayahu 1:16-20)
And yet even with ample warnings about impending doom, the people of Jerusalem and Israel could not change their ways. The threat of being devoured by the sword somehow didn’t move the masses to make the changes needed to avert the disaster.
Why? Why didn't they see the “signs on the wall”? Why didn’t they listen to Isaiah or the other prophets who told them exactly what would happen?
For one reason, because of the intense power of denial.
According to psychologists, denial is a defense mechanism “where an individual refuses to recognize or acknowledge objective facts or experiences. It's an unconscious process that serves to protect the person from discomfort or anxiety.”
Denial is a powerful force of the unconscious which has a devastating impact on our conscious lives. We close our eyes to the truth and live in denial of reality, believing one thing, doing another, and believing that we are acting rationally.
According to Dr. Akeem Marsh, the classic signs of denial are:
You refuse to talk about the problem.
You find ways to justify your behavior.
You blame other people or outside forces for causing the problem.
You persist in a behavior despite negative consequences. You promise to address the problem in the future.
You avoid thinking about the problem.
When these classic signs are mapped onto the tragedies mentioned above, it becomes more apparent that denial is one of the leading reasons people act against their self-interests.
Other external and internal forces at work prevented the Jewish people from changing course, just as in the Titanic and the Titan tragedies. Egos, financial pressures, inability to admit failure, tunnel vision, and other forces undoubtedly contributed to the disasters. However, denial is a singularly destructive meta-force foundational to these other factors.
One of the more pernicious qualities of denial is its hiddenness to the one in denial. When someone in denial is confronted, they often become defensive; they deny they are in denial. Additionally, so often, when we are in denial, we think we are being righteous when we are actually being foolish.
When we are in denial about marriage troubles, health issues, and mental illness, the situation gets worse. Doctors regularly see patients who refuse to accept the reality of their situation and make the necessary changes to avert disaster. Psychologists see patients who lapse treatment because they blame others for their problems.
In my counseling practice, I see couples whose relationships are in peril because of the destructive force of denial. I see parents in denial about their children’s problems. Without fundamental change, denial can destroy our homes, a mikdash me’at, a miniature version of the Temple, just as it helped destroy the original Temples.
If denial is so destructive, why are we not better prepared to counter its influence, and is it possible to overcome it?
Does the same denial which affects individuals also impact a community?
We must look at the spiritual roots of denial to answer these questions and provide a pathway for preventing disasters.
Part Three
God has bestowed on humanity so many gifts. The capacity for thinking, creating, and inventing. The ability to play the banjo. Cut a gem. Paint a canvas, build a car. The list of human accomplishments and skills is seemingly infinite.
And so is a list of human follies and disasters—including the Titan, the Titanic, and the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
But one of our greatest gifts, which we do not usually consider, is our ability to change and do things differently. The Sfas Emes taught that the capacity of a human to transcend their nature and to transform is a God-given gift.
So if we have the capacity to change, how do we consistently act against our best interests?
Spiritually speaking, our stubborn refusal to change and to be in denial is an integral part of the Yetzer Hara, a powerful force of self-preservation and selfishness tied to our base needs and wants. While we sometimes may see the Yetzer Hara discussed as an external force, the source of the Yetzer Hara is within our bodies. Our sages have taught that the body and the soul are in perpetual conflict. The soul longs for good, and the body is drawn to pleasure. The soul desires eternity and connection with the Divine, while the body focuses on the fleeting present.
Our soul may want to admit that the way we are heading will lead to disaster, but the body doesn’t want to forgo the pleasure it receives. And that pleasure can be a pleasure of the mind as well. Our intellectual self loves to think that we are right, know what is best, and that others are blind, wrong, biased, or weak. In other words, our body is getting pleasure from being in denial.
I see this in relationships that are falling apart. One of the partners gets more pleasure from causing their spouse anguish than providing them joy. They get more pleasure from showing how the other is wrong than figuring out how they can be a better friend/lover/spouse.
Let’s look at how denial would be treated in a clinical setting. Whether in a private or group session, we would ask, “Why are we afraid to face the problem?” We would be asked to consider the consequences of not dealing with the problem and encourage each other to talk to a close friend or loved one who can offer an honest, more objective perspective. We would also work on identifying distorted thoughts — things we think about ourselves that are not true — that might contribute to our anxiety and inability to deal with the problem.
As powerful and effective as this conventional treatment may be to help a person overcome the adverse effects of denial, it doesn’t necessarily provide a bulwark against falling into the trap again. That is where a spiritual remedy may provide lasting help keeping us from the destructive forces of denial. Spiritual remedies give our souls an edge over the desires of the body.
Yeshayahu prophesied that we could avoid the horrible fate that awaited Israel if we just changed how we behaved with others. “Cease to do evil; Learn to do good.” We must counteract the negative with positive actions that help other people - those close to us and those we do not know.
“Devote yourselves to justice,” we are not giving enough money to support community resources, the poor, the unhoused, and those who cannot afford the cost of Jewish education.
“Aid the wronged,” we are not providing enough support for those who don’t have the financial wherewithal to stop injustice being perpetrated. People with low incomes can’t afford to mount a proper legal fight for justice.
“Uphold the rights of the orphan; Defend the cause of the widow,” the Torah explains that God is very concerned about the honor of the downtrodden. “If you oppress them and they call out to me, I shall surely hear their cry.” (Ex: 22). From refugees from Ukraine to the tragedies which leave a family without a parent to help support the family and raise the children, there are many in need in our community. Do we run to find a way to help them? Or do we come up with reasons why we should not donate/help/intervene?
Earlier, I asked, “Can we begin to make the changes needed to stop the Sisyphean wheel that brings us back to these three weeks each year, refraining from joyfulness, fasting, praying, and hoping for change?”
Absolutely.
Suppose we can adjust our lives to live more in line with these prophetic ideals. In that case, we will see many beautiful benefits, including avoiding the dangers of denial and living more confidently in the present.
If the Jewish world invested its collective financial and intellectual resources in the way that Yeshayahu asks, we would also see many beautiful benefits to our community and a transformation of the three weeks from days of sorrow and conflict to days of the revelation of Godliness and joy.